This year while the elves have been building bicycles and shaving action man’s head, Santa has been completing his business mileage claim taking him just over 8 full months. With over 233 million children to account for, Santa has had a mammoth task on his hands recording each and every one of these unique journeys.
Over the centuries the improvements in technology have made a difference but with the burgeoning population the time it takes these days has been getting longer and longer with Santa’s PA elf Bernard now having to give a hand. This year however in the office secret Santa, Bernard has given the jolly fellow his own PEAK Mileage Trip Stick. All Santa needs to do is place it in the USB port or cigarette lighter of his sleigh and it will record the full 212 million miles.
This new year while Santa and the elves are recovering from the Christmas party and the effects of too much eggnog, all he needs to do is plug the Trip Stick into his new windows tablet and upload the data.
He has one personal trip to hide from Mrs Clause the one where he stopped at Lapland gentlemen’s club at the end of his trip. This is easy though he just needs to click the trip as being personal and that’s hidden away.
All Santa needs to think about what will he do with the extra 8 months this year. January he will be doing a 30 day vegetable detox to prepare for the London marathon and to get over the 233 million units of alcohol and 71 billion calories he consumed on Christmas eve.